One of the most eventful weeks of my life it was, last week. It was bittersweet, but the good surprisingly overcame the bad.
basketball coaching had begun and was in full swing. We had practice everyday of the week(and still do). It was exhilarating. Playing basketball is always therapeutic to me. But it does have its cons. The biggest one being that it consumed a lot of my time. I barely finished my homework on time. I didn't have time for much else. By the time I got back home, I was spent. Nonetheless, it has been fun. It's all good when it's basketball.
the best part about last week was that when I had practice in school for basketball, he had practice in school for music. This meant one big thing: together, after school. Now, we're not exactly 'allowed' to be together(thanks to our parents being typical Keralites) so some time at school is all we usually get. But last week meant having lunch together everyday, hanging out in between practice, and even a few moments all alone. Just being with him was enough to have me dreaming all through the day. Those accidental brushes we had were so full of meaning, that only we understood. His hands are incredibly soft. (yeah, I was lucky enough to have felt them!!) and they look like they can do a hell lot of magic. But we know our limits. (don't think we're some crazy kids trying to get physical) it's way more than that. It's not about how close we are standing, it's about how closely we understand each other. That's one of the biggest reasons I love him so much. Whatever it is that happens, no matter how embarrassing are the things I've done, he's always there to say "it's ok, that's not what really counts." just his presence comforts me. And he's always, ALWAYS there to listen. When I feel like crying my heart out he says, "don't worry, everyone cries. It's going to be ok. I'm here."
I love who he is, not just to me; but what he is inside. It just surprises me how one person can make such a difference in my life. And more so that somehow, it mean the same to him.
every day I have more reason to spend the rest of my life with him. All I wish is that we'll be together like this till the end.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Monday, September 18, 2006
What's wrong?
Whats the problem with my blog? no-one seems to be reaidng it in this vast interent community. come on people, do my efforts some justice!!! just check it out and tell me what u think! why else would i start this unless it was to find other people who have similar experiences to mine and also to find critics for my writing?
tell your freinds, and read my blog you guys. tell me how i can improve too. i have a feeling it's too plain. tell me what u guys think ok?
see ya
tell your freinds, and read my blog you guys. tell me how i can improve too. i have a feeling it's too plain. tell me what u guys think ok?
see ya
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Misunderstood?
What is happening to me? There is so much I don’t understand anymore. Just a month ago, I had the feeling I knew all about the goings on in my life. But now, I realize that I was terribly wrong.
My academic status has come down to a mere 10th rank, and I expect that to go down even lower at my current pace. I remember a time when I was one of the top 5 in my class. Now just thinking of that is taboo. All I want is a meager 85% when just a few years ago, my standards were above a 95% average. What has changed me to this? Have a found more important things in life? I’ve been trying to answer that question, and as you would probably have guessed, it is a yes. I have found new things that matter to me more than grades in school.
I began to realize the importance of my relationships with people. Even now, I struggle sometimes to maintain them. I have to make a genuine effort at certain occasions to cement the bonds I share with the people around me. And yet, it seems that these are slowly fading away into time. My friends, I sometimes do not know if they are trustworthy; and I doubt my capabilities as a good friend. What am I to them all, but a grain in the sands of time?
My fears are overwhelming me. I have never feared so many things in life. I fear even the thought of death. It’s so inevitable, so unavoidable, I have seen it happen enough and yet, my knees knock when I think of the day I leave forever. No, I was wrong. This world is not unreal. It is the only reality I know, and sometimes even though I need escape, I am terrified by that time that I would escape forever. I fear losing things that are dear to me.
I think of the love I have inside me. I’m afraid that one day, all these feelings I have for him are going to be wrecked, blocked. I’m dreading the day, for someday it might dawn on me, when I have to say goodbye. I can’t bear to think of a situation where I am devoid of his support. It scares me to death to think there could be a time when we are alone, and without each other, with no way of reconciling. I cry just imagining life without him. I don’t want to lose him. I want to stay in his arms forever. Why do my fears overwhelm me? When I confide in someone I trust, it seems as though it is all just paranoia. For a little while, I shun them as though they are the childish rants of a lunatic. But when I am alone, my fears return to haunt me. They shake me. I don’t understand all of them and I don’t even know why I am scared of certain things. But the weakness of my mind has succumbed to them. Uneasiness takes over me sometimes, despite the interspersed cheer and joy I find in life.
Am I being too critical of my environment? Probably so; but I find peace in re-thinking about my mistakes and of estimating the problems around me. I don’t really know why. Though, in my lack of understanding, I also find a comfort within myself. A comfort that says ultimately, I am the only one who completely knows me. To everyone else, though they may not realize it, this young, confused, bubbly girl will always be a mystery.
My academic status has come down to a mere 10th rank, and I expect that to go down even lower at my current pace. I remember a time when I was one of the top 5 in my class. Now just thinking of that is taboo. All I want is a meager 85% when just a few years ago, my standards were above a 95% average. What has changed me to this? Have a found more important things in life? I’ve been trying to answer that question, and as you would probably have guessed, it is a yes. I have found new things that matter to me more than grades in school.
I began to realize the importance of my relationships with people. Even now, I struggle sometimes to maintain them. I have to make a genuine effort at certain occasions to cement the bonds I share with the people around me. And yet, it seems that these are slowly fading away into time. My friends, I sometimes do not know if they are trustworthy; and I doubt my capabilities as a good friend. What am I to them all, but a grain in the sands of time?
My fears are overwhelming me. I have never feared so many things in life. I fear even the thought of death. It’s so inevitable, so unavoidable, I have seen it happen enough and yet, my knees knock when I think of the day I leave forever. No, I was wrong. This world is not unreal. It is the only reality I know, and sometimes even though I need escape, I am terrified by that time that I would escape forever. I fear losing things that are dear to me.
I think of the love I have inside me. I’m afraid that one day, all these feelings I have for him are going to be wrecked, blocked. I’m dreading the day, for someday it might dawn on me, when I have to say goodbye. I can’t bear to think of a situation where I am devoid of his support. It scares me to death to think there could be a time when we are alone, and without each other, with no way of reconciling. I cry just imagining life without him. I don’t want to lose him. I want to stay in his arms forever. Why do my fears overwhelm me? When I confide in someone I trust, it seems as though it is all just paranoia. For a little while, I shun them as though they are the childish rants of a lunatic. But when I am alone, my fears return to haunt me. They shake me. I don’t understand all of them and I don’t even know why I am scared of certain things. But the weakness of my mind has succumbed to them. Uneasiness takes over me sometimes, despite the interspersed cheer and joy I find in life.
Am I being too critical of my environment? Probably so; but I find peace in re-thinking about my mistakes and of estimating the problems around me. I don’t really know why. Though, in my lack of understanding, I also find a comfort within myself. A comfort that says ultimately, I am the only one who completely knows me. To everyone else, though they may not realize it, this young, confused, bubbly girl will always be a mystery.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Hate School? Join the Club.
My Onam holidays are over. It's a depressing realization that I have to go back to that horrible place on Monday. School Sucks. It's H-E-L-L. I can't stand school. Here's why:
1. I'm in the tenth. The beginning of the toughest years of CBSE education. I have nothing to look forward to in my 11th and 12th, from what I've heard. All I have up ahead is a tons of studying, a lot of mugging, maybe a little learning, and a whole lot of crap from teachers and parents. Great.
2. I don't enjoy hanging out with my batch anymore. I was never a loner, but these past few months, my entire batch just sickness me. How they go around with each other and how they look like they're not studying but in truth they are. They're always out partying or hanging out and enjoying themselves. Hey that's great! But I'm just not interested anymore. The whole teenage flirting and freaking out has been a little toned down for me lately.
3. There are exams every three weeks. Midterms, Half -yearlys, third terms, models, and how could I forget the fabulous boards. In all, we have 8 sets of exams in a span of 10 months. And then there's Internal assessments, projects, vivas, practicals, what not. If u find that hard to believe, obviously you're not Indian.
4. Basketball season starts next week. It's great to play basketball, but that is just going to mean more missing classes, more staying back at school for practice, more time lost. More work and less energy.
5. My Half-yearly exam results will be out. Now, unlike everyone around me, my academic capabilities aren't at their peak right now. I've been failing myself a lot these days. So the one thing I'm dreading is returning to horrid school to see my grades. What a great way to start the new term(sarcasm).
Somebody tell me there's hope!!!
1. I'm in the tenth. The beginning of the toughest years of CBSE education. I have nothing to look forward to in my 11th and 12th, from what I've heard. All I have up ahead is a tons of studying, a lot of mugging, maybe a little learning, and a whole lot of crap from teachers and parents. Great.
2. I don't enjoy hanging out with my batch anymore. I was never a loner, but these past few months, my entire batch just sickness me. How they go around with each other and how they look like they're not studying but in truth they are. They're always out partying or hanging out and enjoying themselves. Hey that's great! But I'm just not interested anymore. The whole teenage flirting and freaking out has been a little toned down for me lately.
3. There are exams every three weeks. Midterms, Half -yearlys, third terms, models, and how could I forget the fabulous boards. In all, we have 8 sets of exams in a span of 10 months. And then there's Internal assessments, projects, vivas, practicals, what not. If u find that hard to believe, obviously you're not Indian.
4. Basketball season starts next week. It's great to play basketball, but that is just going to mean more missing classes, more staying back at school for practice, more time lost. More work and less energy.
5. My Half-yearly exam results will be out. Now, unlike everyone around me, my academic capabilities aren't at their peak right now. I've been failing myself a lot these days. So the one thing I'm dreading is returning to horrid school to see my grades. What a great way to start the new term(sarcasm).
Somebody tell me there's hope!!!
Friday, September 08, 2006
Hyderabad
Last week, being Onam in Kerala, I took a trip to hyderabad with my family. There was my mom, dad, brother, my aunt, uncle and cousins. We joined other cousins in Hyderabad.
It was a great trip. And a nice city at that.
Surprisingly we didn't shop much. i got some good perfume for myself. but other than that, a trip to the chudi baazaar and the joothi store, there wasn't much. Well, we also got some pearl jewellery, since hyderabad is supposed to be the 'city of pearls'.
We, like typical tourists, went to the historical places like the Char Minar, and Golconda fort and visited a couple of meusems. We got to see the Nizam's Jewels, which showcased the exquisite Jacob's diamond. Historically, i'm alot smarter now.
The great highlight was the food. My aunt, being the excellent cook tat she is, had us full to the brim for the entire holiday. The andhra biriyani was absolutely amazing; the kebabs irresistable. We ate at all the local joints and relished every local delight. I stuffed myself till i could no more. I'm just greatful my metablism compensates for it.
We really bonded as a family. We're already planning our next vacation. It's great fun to get together like this. None of us had any inhibitions because we were all close to each other. I guess it's true when they say family is always something different. It's a separate sort of conncetion. you can hate each other to death sometimes but ultimately, you stick together. That was the positive outcome of our vacation together, the 12 of us. we have all got to know each toher better and the next time we get together there would be fewer misunderstandings, more laughs and we'd have a bigger blast than the last.
To Family.
It was a great trip. And a nice city at that.
Surprisingly we didn't shop much. i got some good perfume for myself. but other than that, a trip to the chudi baazaar and the joothi store, there wasn't much. Well, we also got some pearl jewellery, since hyderabad is supposed to be the 'city of pearls'.
We, like typical tourists, went to the historical places like the Char Minar, and Golconda fort and visited a couple of meusems. We got to see the Nizam's Jewels, which showcased the exquisite Jacob's diamond. Historically, i'm alot smarter now.
The great highlight was the food. My aunt, being the excellent cook tat she is, had us full to the brim for the entire holiday. The andhra biriyani was absolutely amazing; the kebabs irresistable. We ate at all the local joints and relished every local delight. I stuffed myself till i could no more. I'm just greatful my metablism compensates for it.
We really bonded as a family. We're already planning our next vacation. It's great fun to get together like this. None of us had any inhibitions because we were all close to each other. I guess it's true when they say family is always something different. It's a separate sort of conncetion. you can hate each other to death sometimes but ultimately, you stick together. That was the positive outcome of our vacation together, the 12 of us. we have all got to know each toher better and the next time we get together there would be fewer misunderstandings, more laughs and we'd have a bigger blast than the last.
To Family.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Unfriendly
Sometimes the world is the last place you want to be. This world is everything that you hate, sometimes. That time is now for me. I cannot stand being here. I cannot take any more of this suffocation. I hate everything about this materialistic, monotonous madness.
My parents are being very much like themselves. They are not content with what I do. They do not trust my capabilities. They do not support my decisions. And I am the only one at fault. I am the innocent fool. I am the easily flattered child. I am the careless disappointer. I wish they were not a part of me. Or more appropriately, sometimes I wish I was not a part of them. I don't mean to say they are bad people, or bad parents. No. I will always be at fault.
My friends could not care less. Who are my friends? Where are they? They are far away. Too far to hear my suffocated thoughts, or feel my dry tears on their skin. I trust them. I love them. But now, I need them not. They are not the ones who I want to share these thoughts with. They are the ones sitting in coffee houses, enjoying themselves; while I lie in my bed, numb to this unreal world.
My love. Though he is not here physically, I know we share a bond; unbreakable. But I can't take it anymore. I can't bear the distance. We are so very close. I can feel him all through my mind. But I don't want us to be broken down by our distorted surroundings. It's so painful to be there, wanting so desperately to say so many things, but we can't breathe a word. Like in autumn when you're walking ahead, and the wind, sand and leaves rush at your face, rustling you and leaving you flustered. The world is our autumn wind. And they never leave us alone. I want to run away with him to a far off place, that only we know. Somewhere real. A space in time, where we can be ourselves and say all that we want to, do all that we've dreamed of. I need to escape with him to a somewhere, someday, where nothing and nobody can ever tear us apart.
My parents are being very much like themselves. They are not content with what I do. They do not trust my capabilities. They do not support my decisions. And I am the only one at fault. I am the innocent fool. I am the easily flattered child. I am the careless disappointer. I wish they were not a part of me. Or more appropriately, sometimes I wish I was not a part of them. I don't mean to say they are bad people, or bad parents. No. I will always be at fault.
My friends could not care less. Who are my friends? Where are they? They are far away. Too far to hear my suffocated thoughts, or feel my dry tears on their skin. I trust them. I love them. But now, I need them not. They are not the ones who I want to share these thoughts with. They are the ones sitting in coffee houses, enjoying themselves; while I lie in my bed, numb to this unreal world.
My love. Though he is not here physically, I know we share a bond; unbreakable. But I can't take it anymore. I can't bear the distance. We are so very close. I can feel him all through my mind. But I don't want us to be broken down by our distorted surroundings. It's so painful to be there, wanting so desperately to say so many things, but we can't breathe a word. Like in autumn when you're walking ahead, and the wind, sand and leaves rush at your face, rustling you and leaving you flustered. The world is our autumn wind. And they never leave us alone. I want to run away with him to a far off place, that only we know. Somewhere real. A space in time, where we can be ourselves and say all that we want to, do all that we've dreamed of. I need to escape with him to a somewhere, someday, where nothing and nobody can ever tear us apart.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Love
I'm in love. There's no other explanation. I've fallen long and hard for this guy.
He's everything I've ever wanted in a lover. He's all i'll ever need in a freind. He's always there, right beside me and wow, it's incredible what i feel.
Can any of you explain this to me? I don't know what it is. I've heard alot about love, but i've been hurt believing that it was love before.
Somehow, this time, things are different. We have an understanding. i mean, its just something special. we really love each other with our heart and soul. and we want to protect each other. we wan't to in each other's arms. that's how much.
i love him. nothing could be better than this.
He's everything I've ever wanted in a lover. He's all i'll ever need in a freind. He's always there, right beside me and wow, it's incredible what i feel.
Can any of you explain this to me? I don't know what it is. I've heard alot about love, but i've been hurt believing that it was love before.
Somehow, this time, things are different. We have an understanding. i mean, its just something special. we really love each other with our heart and soul. and we want to protect each other. we wan't to in each other's arms. that's how much.
i love him. nothing could be better than this.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Joyeux Anniversaire!
That's French for Happy Birthday! And to none other than Moi.
I'm finally sixteen. I'm just hoping it's as sweet as they make it to be!
It was a pretty good day. Most of my friends called. A handful of them completely forgot, but hey, forgiveness is my thing.
Got a bunch of cute stuff as well. My friends can be so sweet when they want to! If they carried on like that the whole year, this world would be a better place.
I got all the sweetest cards from my best friends, with these poems for me (because they know how much I love poetry) and all these funny thoughts and things.
And my dearest love(sound nice, calling him that!) gave me something that I've been wanting for a while now. Pictures of him!! What a perfect birthday treat. Now I get to gape at him the whole time. And he also got me this absolutely ADORABLE card that's to die for. Seriously.
Anyway now onto something else. No, it's not going to be the whole mish-mash of "oh no, I'm getting older by the year". (sort of obvious don't you think?)
Well, I was thinking, does the whole "birthday love" fade? I mean you're always treated extra special for your birthday right? but we know its not just about that one day. I mean, other than an opportunity to throw a party, exploit your friends and their wallets, and get reminded you're going to conk off a bit sooner, a birthday doesn't really have a deeper resemblance, does it? I always wonder, if there's something under all this rush.
In fact, life's just like one big birthday party right? There are a bunch of people around. Some you know too well, some you met two weeks ago, some that u don't really like, but you invited them anyway, just to be nice.(aren't you the sweetest?) All the poeple that make your life good, bad and ugly.
There could be a bunch of balloons(your parents' idea: they think you're still three). Things that make you feel like flying, but u never know when they're going to pop and bring you crashing down.
What about the birthday song? Everyone sings in a semi-drawl and though it doesn't really sound too great, its nice because you know that all these people; the fact that they're here, singing for you means that you have people in this world that someday you can ask for help, and they wouldn't mind as much as the odd guy across the street.
There's the birthday cake, of course with all those candles melting over it. The big goal of your life. One you've been working toward most of your life. There were alot of those "melting candles" spilling wax all over it, and occasionally ruining everything. but only on the surface. and with all the hardwork you've put in, (with a hand once in a while from balloon-loving parents, freinds and family) finally you have it all right in front of you.
Oh and don't forget the food. What everyone really came here for. The food. So what does the food signify? Well, to me food is always just that. Hey, people need nutrition!
There are the parting gifts. "Thanks for coming, here's something for you." Well, everyone has worked their way through the whole party, as you would in life and so for that, you get your little gift. Some peace of mind that though you did things right and you did things wrong and the right have got you this far. And now its time to take a back seat and let life unfold.
And there you are, thinking man, it all got over too soon. But you say, "Hey, nothing lasts forever" and sit back, reflect, and relax.
You smile to yourself wondering whether you'd ever get a second chance at hosting that party, at inviting the people you invited, at picking the cake you wanted. Well, party's over folks. No turning back now. That's life isn't it?
Hey, I just brought something thoughtful out of this whole birthday nonsense. Wait, don't tell me your thinking, "so are you saying all this isn't nonsense?" well, it's like making something out of nothing. I feel more content now. Everyone should be this nice more often. Except him of course, he's always nice. I wouldn't change him for the world.
If I die tomorrow, I'd say I would have died happier than most people.
I'm finally sixteen. I'm just hoping it's as sweet as they make it to be!
It was a pretty good day. Most of my friends called. A handful of them completely forgot, but hey, forgiveness is my thing.
Got a bunch of cute stuff as well. My friends can be so sweet when they want to! If they carried on like that the whole year, this world would be a better place.
I got all the sweetest cards from my best friends, with these poems for me (because they know how much I love poetry) and all these funny thoughts and things.
And my dearest love(sound nice, calling him that!) gave me something that I've been wanting for a while now. Pictures of him!! What a perfect birthday treat. Now I get to gape at him the whole time. And he also got me this absolutely ADORABLE card that's to die for. Seriously.
Anyway now onto something else. No, it's not going to be the whole mish-mash of "oh no, I'm getting older by the year". (sort of obvious don't you think?)
Well, I was thinking, does the whole "birthday love" fade? I mean you're always treated extra special for your birthday right? but we know its not just about that one day. I mean, other than an opportunity to throw a party, exploit your friends and their wallets, and get reminded you're going to conk off a bit sooner, a birthday doesn't really have a deeper resemblance, does it? I always wonder, if there's something under all this rush.
In fact, life's just like one big birthday party right? There are a bunch of people around. Some you know too well, some you met two weeks ago, some that u don't really like, but you invited them anyway, just to be nice.(aren't you the sweetest?) All the poeple that make your life good, bad and ugly.
There could be a bunch of balloons(your parents' idea: they think you're still three). Things that make you feel like flying, but u never know when they're going to pop and bring you crashing down.
What about the birthday song? Everyone sings in a semi-drawl and though it doesn't really sound too great, its nice because you know that all these people; the fact that they're here, singing for you means that you have people in this world that someday you can ask for help, and they wouldn't mind as much as the odd guy across the street.
There's the birthday cake, of course with all those candles melting over it. The big goal of your life. One you've been working toward most of your life. There were alot of those "melting candles" spilling wax all over it, and occasionally ruining everything. but only on the surface. and with all the hardwork you've put in, (with a hand once in a while from balloon-loving parents, freinds and family) finally you have it all right in front of you.
Oh and don't forget the food. What everyone really came here for. The food. So what does the food signify? Well, to me food is always just that. Hey, people need nutrition!
There are the parting gifts. "Thanks for coming, here's something for you." Well, everyone has worked their way through the whole party, as you would in life and so for that, you get your little gift. Some peace of mind that though you did things right and you did things wrong and the right have got you this far. And now its time to take a back seat and let life unfold.
And there you are, thinking man, it all got over too soon. But you say, "Hey, nothing lasts forever" and sit back, reflect, and relax.
You smile to yourself wondering whether you'd ever get a second chance at hosting that party, at inviting the people you invited, at picking the cake you wanted. Well, party's over folks. No turning back now. That's life isn't it?
Hey, I just brought something thoughtful out of this whole birthday nonsense. Wait, don't tell me your thinking, "so are you saying all this isn't nonsense?" well, it's like making something out of nothing. I feel more content now. Everyone should be this nice more often. Except him of course, he's always nice. I wouldn't change him for the world.
If I die tomorrow, I'd say I would have died happier than most people.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
And She Returns
Well, my exams are over, for the time being. But soon another set are going to start(in about 2 weeks). I guess this is what being in tenth is like anyway.
Last week, I had my basketball coaching camp. It was really tiring, because we had to play extra hard since it was selection week. I'm on my school team. It's a lot of fun, but like I said before, just really tiring. I've got a terrible body ache right now. But I'd do anything for basketball.
School is going on monotonously. I do my arts major in dance, so today I got about an hour or so practicing my dance. Again, tiring, but well worth it. Dance really brings out a lot of emotion.
Everything else is fine.
And for the most important thing in my life, he's as wonderful as ever. I'm more in love with him now, than I ever was. We really have so much fun together, just laughing and acting like children, or singing out loud, or just being ourselves. He's got all of me.
See you soon.
Last week, I had my basketball coaching camp. It was really tiring, because we had to play extra hard since it was selection week. I'm on my school team. It's a lot of fun, but like I said before, just really tiring. I've got a terrible body ache right now. But I'd do anything for basketball.
School is going on monotonously. I do my arts major in dance, so today I got about an hour or so practicing my dance. Again, tiring, but well worth it. Dance really brings out a lot of emotion.
Everything else is fine.
And for the most important thing in my life, he's as wonderful as ever. I'm more in love with him now, than I ever was. We really have so much fun together, just laughing and acting like children, or singing out loud, or just being ourselves. He's got all of me.
See you soon.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Tied Up
Exams have arrived. Those horrid imposing things that asses our knowledge; inevitable in student life, like death to a man.
the dreaded week is this. And I have to drag myself to that study table everyday to study. Inescapable exams.
well, I must accept the reality. So, for the next week, I bid you all good bye. I'll be back with news soon enough. Wish me luck!
the dreaded week is this. And I have to drag myself to that study table everyday to study. Inescapable exams.
well, I must accept the reality. So, for the next week, I bid you all good bye. I'll be back with news soon enough. Wish me luck!
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Thinking...
I feel pensive. I am thoughtful. These thought are not sane. They are not specific. My mind is wandering like a leaf floats with the wind. Aimless, submissive to surroundings and dreamy. I am letting the wind carry me and my thoughts.
I want to go far far away. I want to lie down on soft clover and look up at a cloudless sky. But no, in this busy life, where is the time for sleeping on clover? Just taking a minute off to think might lead us to sleep on concrete instead. Time is of the essence. Things are always happening too fast. I must run to keep pace. Everyone must run. No wonder they call it the rat race.
I take a minute, just a minute, to sit down. To think. I might lag behind in the race, but at least I wouldn't trip on the strings of pressure around my limbs that I need to loosen.
I think of my life, in the past two months. Too much has happened. I hardly blinked, and I was swept away by this tornado that is life. Ah, but change is welcome. Change is variety.
I'm not complaining; life is treating me well. I only want to think about it all. My decisions, my work, my carelessness, the smiles, the sighs of relief, the unexpected surprises...
I am trying to think about all this. But it looks like my head is overflowing with him. Nothing else. Just him, his ways, his words, his smile. I must be going insane again.
tell me, is this love? Is this what they all talk about?
I want to go far far away. I want to lie down on soft clover and look up at a cloudless sky. But no, in this busy life, where is the time for sleeping on clover? Just taking a minute off to think might lead us to sleep on concrete instead. Time is of the essence. Things are always happening too fast. I must run to keep pace. Everyone must run. No wonder they call it the rat race.
I take a minute, just a minute, to sit down. To think. I might lag behind in the race, but at least I wouldn't trip on the strings of pressure around my limbs that I need to loosen.
I think of my life, in the past two months. Too much has happened. I hardly blinked, and I was swept away by this tornado that is life. Ah, but change is welcome. Change is variety.
I'm not complaining; life is treating me well. I only want to think about it all. My decisions, my work, my carelessness, the smiles, the sighs of relief, the unexpected surprises...
I am trying to think about all this. But it looks like my head is overflowing with him. Nothing else. Just him, his ways, his words, his smile. I must be going insane again.
tell me, is this love? Is this what they all talk about?
Sunday, June 18, 2006
James.
Today was special.
Today was Metallica marathon.
I've decided on something..
JAMES HETFIELD IS THE HOTTEST MAN ALIVE!
*DROOL*
:P
Today was Metallica marathon.
I've decided on something..
JAMES HETFIELD IS THE HOTTEST MAN ALIVE!
*DROOL*
:P
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Why I can't do what I want
I love to write. It's the only way I can honestly express myself. Everyone has their own passion don't they? Well, mine is writing.
remember when you were a kid and your parents friends ask you, "What do you want to be when you grow up? A doctor? An engineer?" I shunned the thought of being a doctor. The simple thought of blood made me nauseous. As far as being an engineer was concerned, everyone around me wanted to be an enginner. I never wanted what everyone else did.
" want to be a free spirit. I want to be unique. I want to do what i love. I want to be artistic" This was my answer to their questions. If i had expressed my feelings, they would have looked at me as if i was elvis back from his grave.
I kept writing, and as i grew older, i knew what i wanted. I wanted to be a journalist. It involved the things i enjoy: writing, travel and perhaps fame?
There is just one small problem. My parents when i was younger said, "be more focussed." Now they say, "keep your options open."
I really want to be a writer or journalist, now more that ever. But it seems, they have planned a different life for me. One with a degree in engineering, a job as a software engineer or an IFS officer, and happily married (arranged by them of course) with two kids(courstey my mother).
Yes, i am supposed to live a life they wanted to live. Not one i want to.
But i will think about my future. Maybe i'm too young to make my own decisions. That is what they seem to be implying anyway.
We'll see how it all goes.
remember when you were a kid and your parents friends ask you, "What do you want to be when you grow up? A doctor? An engineer?" I shunned the thought of being a doctor. The simple thought of blood made me nauseous. As far as being an engineer was concerned, everyone around me wanted to be an enginner. I never wanted what everyone else did.
" want to be a free spirit. I want to be unique. I want to do what i love. I want to be artistic" This was my answer to their questions. If i had expressed my feelings, they would have looked at me as if i was elvis back from his grave.
I kept writing, and as i grew older, i knew what i wanted. I wanted to be a journalist. It involved the things i enjoy: writing, travel and perhaps fame?
There is just one small problem. My parents when i was younger said, "be more focussed." Now they say, "keep your options open."
I really want to be a writer or journalist, now more that ever. But it seems, they have planned a different life for me. One with a degree in engineering, a job as a software engineer or an IFS officer, and happily married (arranged by them of course) with two kids(courstey my mother).
Yes, i am supposed to live a life they wanted to live. Not one i want to.
But i will think about my future. Maybe i'm too young to make my own decisions. That is what they seem to be implying anyway.
We'll see how it all goes.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Nothing Else Matters
Nothing Else Matters... it's one of those songs that are so absolutely beautiful. I'm a great fan of Metallica, but this song has so much meaning, and so muchexpression. I love it. It hold a significance in my life, because it's the first song I sung with him. And its the first song he sang to me. It's my favourite love song.
So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know
So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us, something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters
never cared for what they say
never cared for games they play
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know and I know
So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters
So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know
So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us, something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters
never cared for what they say
never cared for games they play
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know and I know
So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters
Sunday, June 04, 2006
The End of my freedom.
Tomorrow is the first day of school, for the new academic year. I'm going to the tenth. If you're an Indian, and you're reading this, I bet you're going, "oh boy, she's in tenth,. She really needs to buck up now" if you didn't go like that, either you have no concern for people stepping into the unknown black hole that is the tenth board exams, or you are completely ignorant about the educational system of your country.
anyway, my two-month summer vacation is over. Today is the last day of the best two months I'll have in a while. My tenth will begin tomorrow, and my life will be smothered with grandma mentioning, "no more playing this year" dad and mom forcing me to "get focused", teachers with the more that occasional "time to get serious" juniors looking at me in awe that I dared to pass my ninth and mean seniors smirking, "u wait and see.."
but I wont listen to them. I will get through tenth like everyone before me. I'll be fine. Right?
I hope so.
my school bag is packed. My uniform is ironed. My shoes are shiny. Now all I need to work on is getting through this year!
I'm so nervous. What if my class has all these creeps in it? What if I trip when I walk into class? What if my teachers a freaky psychotic warlord? What if my ex-boyfriend passes rumors about me? What if I forget my name? What if I can't study anything because I'm so stupid? Oh no! What if I become stupid?
I need help.
I need to be calm, collected.
breathe.
breathe.....
wish me luck!!!
hope everything comes out ok
anyway, my two-month summer vacation is over. Today is the last day of the best two months I'll have in a while. My tenth will begin tomorrow, and my life will be smothered with grandma mentioning, "no more playing this year" dad and mom forcing me to "get focused", teachers with the more that occasional "time to get serious" juniors looking at me in awe that I dared to pass my ninth and mean seniors smirking, "u wait and see.."
but I wont listen to them. I will get through tenth like everyone before me. I'll be fine. Right?
I hope so.
my school bag is packed. My uniform is ironed. My shoes are shiny. Now all I need to work on is getting through this year!
I'm so nervous. What if my class has all these creeps in it? What if I trip when I walk into class? What if my teachers a freaky psychotic warlord? What if my ex-boyfriend passes rumors about me? What if I forget my name? What if I can't study anything because I'm so stupid? Oh no! What if I become stupid?
I need help.
I need to be calm, collected.
breathe.
breathe.....
wish me luck!!!
hope everything comes out ok
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
What is Happening???
Wow. I'm in such a good mood today for some reasoni don't know..haven't got much mail from him. Actually no mail from him.but I know he's thinking of me . I just do. Like intuition. I know thateven though he's so far away.and even though I haven't seen him in a month,even though he told me about the pretty French girl sitting next to himeven though I'm not the prettiest or the smartest girl in the worldI know that he loves me for who I am, no matter where we are.it may be stupid to think that. It may be downright foolish. My friend asked me whether he could be staring at the French girl and thinking about her. But somehow, I have this feeling in my heart, I'm my head, all around me that it's me he's thinking about. And that it's me he wants to come back to.maybe its the words he says to me, woven like a tapestry with yarn of golden truth. Or maybe its the way he says my name. The way his voice flows through me like a crystal river, refreshing me.I can't fathom how something like this could happen to me. And I doubt whether I deserve it. But its happening. My senses have been taken over.is this love? I thought I knew what falling in love was like. But this was so new...And so unpredictable, yet so comfortable. Being with him is like being wrapped up in a quilt when all around you is a raging storm. He gives me a sense of belonging. I used to be the "wacko". Now I have some company.we're so alike.and I know that the miles won't stop him loving me as much as I love him.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Stripped
Disappointed. Unsatisfied. Probed. Revealed. Untrusting. Saddened. Lost. Frustrated.
my feelings at this moment.
If u write in a diary, you would know how bad it would feel for someone to read it.
for me, my diary was my life. It still is. It is my ultimate refuge. A treasure chest of every feeling I've felt. It is me.
one of my very good friends one day, happened to stumble Upon it. And understandably enough, she had to open it. She had to read its hidden contents. She had to know my mind. My mind, which only I was entitled to know. To make it worse, she read it with one of her friends, who thoroughly hates me. To know that someone who I hardly know, who I don't like, read me is heartbreaking. The day I found out, I went into my room. Looked at my diary..And felt stripped of my innermost feelings.
it hurt me so much, that I just lay on my bed and cried for a whole hour. I was so depressed.
but Shalini said sorry. And I didn't show to her how horrid I felt inside. I just smiled and told her it was ok. I genuinely liked her, and I dint want to fight with her. So it passed.
until the other day, she makes yet another confession. She has read this Blog. And well, this was my private Blog. One that is public only to people who don't know me. People who wouldn't use this information against me. But she did. Without asking me.
and that is why I feel disappointed. Unsatisfied. Probed. Revealed. Untrusting. Saddened. Lost. Frustrated.
maybe, someday I will forgive. Maybe even forget. But my feelings at this moment are true.
I will not make this mistake again.
my feelings at this moment.
If u write in a diary, you would know how bad it would feel for someone to read it.
for me, my diary was my life. It still is. It is my ultimate refuge. A treasure chest of every feeling I've felt. It is me.
one of my very good friends one day, happened to stumble Upon it. And understandably enough, she had to open it. She had to read its hidden contents. She had to know my mind. My mind, which only I was entitled to know. To make it worse, she read it with one of her friends, who thoroughly hates me. To know that someone who I hardly know, who I don't like, read me is heartbreaking. The day I found out, I went into my room. Looked at my diary..And felt stripped of my innermost feelings.
it hurt me so much, that I just lay on my bed and cried for a whole hour. I was so depressed.
but Shalini said sorry. And I didn't show to her how horrid I felt inside. I just smiled and told her it was ok. I genuinely liked her, and I dint want to fight with her. So it passed.
until the other day, she makes yet another confession. She has read this Blog. And well, this was my private Blog. One that is public only to people who don't know me. People who wouldn't use this information against me. But she did. Without asking me.
and that is why I feel disappointed. Unsatisfied. Probed. Revealed. Untrusting. Saddened. Lost. Frustrated.
maybe, someday I will forgive. Maybe even forget. But my feelings at this moment are true.
I will not make this mistake again.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Calvin
The plane is getting ready to move into the runway. Im sitting with my family, nibbling on a chocolate i bought from the Duty Free Store. I'm counting down the minutes till we land in Dubai, our destination. a grumpy Oman air stewardess comes to me. "Excuse me, but u'll have to move yourself to another seat, you're not allowed to sit near the emergency exit." i get up, with my bag of chocs and my i pod and sit wherever the hell she wants me to. i couldnt have cared less. until....
next to me i find a sort of giant. his pants say new zealnd something. so i figured hes from new zealand. hes reading enid blyton and he looks 19. oh my god, i think. and since, im bored out of my wits, i decide to see how far mr. giant goes with his childish book.
by now, the plane is speeiding down the runway... we take off and i feel a pop in my ears. the guy has horribly dirty hands. it looked like there was an insect between his nails. i look away. after a while as i happen to turn around, what do i notice, but a huge glob of earwax in his giant ear. its sortof yellowish. his body seems like a breeding post for bugs. he looks like he hasnt taken a bath in months. maybe he was on a pilgrimage. he takes out his book, tries to read and then puts it back. i think he couldnt read the word misconception. i guess he gave up on enid blyton. maybe hell move down to noddy?
when the stewardess comes to give us a snack(by the way, if u ever travel on oman air, buy loads of chocs from the duty free coz the food just PLAIN SUCKS!) neither of us ate the snack.
all of a sudden, without warning, he turns to look out the window next to me. i see his face. its a forest of pimples. its like a mountain range. theres big pimples and smal pimples and growing pimples. he turns back. and now he starts to pick on one of his zillion pimples. it pops. it bleeds. its bleeding down his forehead. he wipes the blood off with the tip of his finger. im about to throw up through all of this. im holding my puke down. and i decide if i throuw up, id do it on him. he couldnt smell much worse anyway. and then he sucks on his bloody finger.
what the bloody fuck is wrong with u mr new zealand???? did u want to ruin the apetite of the girl sitting beside you?? or are u just wierd? i was uteerly completely disgusted.
i lay my head down. i am not going to bear this guys antics anymore. in 5 minutes, the plain has landed. it was a short flight. despite the giant displaying all his bodily filth to me.
and we get up to take our baggage. he gets up and reaches to the upper hold. i now realise the new zealand pants were low waist. as he slowly raises his arms, i see in my damn face a motherfucking calvin klein label. his ass is near my face. his damned underwear is exposed. he stinks. i swear to myself i will never move from my emergency exit seat even if my life depended upon it. fuck you calvin, u just scarred me for life.
next to me i find a sort of giant. his pants say new zealnd something. so i figured hes from new zealand. hes reading enid blyton and he looks 19. oh my god, i think. and since, im bored out of my wits, i decide to see how far mr. giant goes with his childish book.
by now, the plane is speeiding down the runway... we take off and i feel a pop in my ears. the guy has horribly dirty hands. it looked like there was an insect between his nails. i look away. after a while as i happen to turn around, what do i notice, but a huge glob of earwax in his giant ear. its sortof yellowish. his body seems like a breeding post for bugs. he looks like he hasnt taken a bath in months. maybe he was on a pilgrimage. he takes out his book, tries to read and then puts it back. i think he couldnt read the word misconception. i guess he gave up on enid blyton. maybe hell move down to noddy?
when the stewardess comes to give us a snack(by the way, if u ever travel on oman air, buy loads of chocs from the duty free coz the food just PLAIN SUCKS!) neither of us ate the snack.
all of a sudden, without warning, he turns to look out the window next to me. i see his face. its a forest of pimples. its like a mountain range. theres big pimples and smal pimples and growing pimples. he turns back. and now he starts to pick on one of his zillion pimples. it pops. it bleeds. its bleeding down his forehead. he wipes the blood off with the tip of his finger. im about to throw up through all of this. im holding my puke down. and i decide if i throuw up, id do it on him. he couldnt smell much worse anyway. and then he sucks on his bloody finger.
what the bloody fuck is wrong with u mr new zealand???? did u want to ruin the apetite of the girl sitting beside you?? or are u just wierd? i was uteerly completely disgusted.
i lay my head down. i am not going to bear this guys antics anymore. in 5 minutes, the plain has landed. it was a short flight. despite the giant displaying all his bodily filth to me.
and we get up to take our baggage. he gets up and reaches to the upper hold. i now realise the new zealand pants were low waist. as he slowly raises his arms, i see in my damn face a motherfucking calvin klein label. his ass is near my face. his damned underwear is exposed. he stinks. i swear to myself i will never move from my emergency exit seat even if my life depended upon it. fuck you calvin, u just scarred me for life.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Fiction: Krypton
KRYPTON
It all started the day I wished upon a star. You know, like in the stories?
I was sick and tired of everything. Of my mom making me stuff my breakfast down my throat; of my dad telling me if I don’t hurry up, I’ll be late for school; of my little brother being the average annoying little brother; of my alarm clock, set on snooze, ringing every five minutes; of everything. I wanted; no, I needed some peace and quiet. So I wished upon a star that I could get out of this chaotic place.
I think I wished too soon because, to be exact, I wished away planet earth. Yup, you read right, I WISHED AWAY PLANET EARTH. How do I know, you ask? Well, what else would you think it you found yourself on a huge sphere of rock, having no signs of life whatsoever? This place had E-M-P-T-Y written all over it.
So here I was on a ‘sphere of rock’ all because foolish me wished upon a star. A star! Whose wish upon a star is actually granted?
As I was pondering over this trivial question, I discover a boy of about my age doing some sort of experiment. The big head, even bigger hair and the know-it-all expression on his face; this had to be Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius. And I was right.
I’m saved!!
“Hi,” he says.
“Hi, what are you doing?”
“Oh me?” he replies, “I was out on Jupiter collecting rock samples and when I return, this is what I find of Earth. I don’t understand what could have happened.”
“Ahem, that would be my fault,” I say, “I wished the earth away.”
“Right. And I’m Frankenstein’s mother,” Jimmy mused.
I could see he really looked down on me, even though I was at least half a foot taller than him. Now I can’t complain, because this super brain was my only ticket out of my former home. I told him my story. Though he thought I was an escaped lunatic or something, I convinced him to find a way to get us out.
So we walked a bit and reached at the base of a hyper-galacto-whatsitsname-thingamajig (I think.... I’m just going to call it ‘the rocket’ for now.). Jimmy Neutron (Boy Genius) and I (totally brain-dead compared to him) blasted off on our search for new earths. It was a good thing I had taken time to read up on my National Geographic or I would have lost it in there with Smart-Ass-Neutron.
Anyway, there we were, traveling at twice the speed of light and after about an hour, we located a planet, with the perfect conditions for habitation, according to one of Jimmy’s gadgets. I secretly name our new discovery ‘planet Krypton’ after the place from which Superman hails.
Yes! Finally I can get away from this big-head hogging all the space! I thought as we broke into the atmosphere. (OK maybe I should have been thankful, but this guy was driving me nuts) In two minutes, we were there; thanks to Jimmy’s twice-the-speed-of-light-rocket.
Somehow today seems to be a day of surprises; first with the earth disappearing, then Jimmy Neutron and his rocket and now this. Jimmy is not helping at all. He’s too obsessed with rock samples.
Before me I see exactly what I wanted to get away from: Earth, with all its chaos.
Hold on, let’s rewind back. Earth? This isn’t earth! This is supposed to be Planet Krypton!
“Jimmy what did you do?”
“Nothing,” he replies and off he goes with his rock examiner.
Where’s the big-head when I need him?
After a few minutes, I realize that Jimmy has landed us a few streets away from our neighborhood. I was analyzing my chances of finding Jimmy again and getting some sense out of the situation when he rapped on my shoulder.
“Hey”
Speak of the devil…
“Yeah? What is it?” I ask
“Well, after a bit of research, I’ve found that every 7 blue moons (I later learnt that one blue moon is 96 years) someone’s wish to make the world disappear comes true. And unimaginable force beyond comprehension transports all the things on Earth and its near vicinity to another planet with equal resources for life. Only the ‘wisher’ remains on earth.”
OK, that was a little bit too much for me to understand
“Run that by me again?”
With enthusiasm, Jimmy continues, “you see, when there are two planets to use, although no one realizes it, the depletion of resources is reduced by 50%. That’s why the Earth; or technically earths aren’t destroyed by now.”
“So basically, there are two earths and once in a while, we switch between them?” I give him my simplified version.
“If you put it that way, yes,” says Jimmy, not at all impressed with my analysis, “well, see you around!”
“Um… you too.” I reply though not really meaning it.
Well, I got my life of yelling parents, annoying brother and alarming alarm clock back.
So much for Krypton.
It all started the day I wished upon a star. You know, like in the stories?
I was sick and tired of everything. Of my mom making me stuff my breakfast down my throat; of my dad telling me if I don’t hurry up, I’ll be late for school; of my little brother being the average annoying little brother; of my alarm clock, set on snooze, ringing every five minutes; of everything. I wanted; no, I needed some peace and quiet. So I wished upon a star that I could get out of this chaotic place.
I think I wished too soon because, to be exact, I wished away planet earth. Yup, you read right, I WISHED AWAY PLANET EARTH. How do I know, you ask? Well, what else would you think it you found yourself on a huge sphere of rock, having no signs of life whatsoever? This place had E-M-P-T-Y written all over it.
So here I was on a ‘sphere of rock’ all because foolish me wished upon a star. A star! Whose wish upon a star is actually granted?
As I was pondering over this trivial question, I discover a boy of about my age doing some sort of experiment. The big head, even bigger hair and the know-it-all expression on his face; this had to be Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius. And I was right.
I’m saved!!
“Hi,” he says.
“Hi, what are you doing?”
“Oh me?” he replies, “I was out on Jupiter collecting rock samples and when I return, this is what I find of Earth. I don’t understand what could have happened.”
“Ahem, that would be my fault,” I say, “I wished the earth away.”
“Right. And I’m Frankenstein’s mother,” Jimmy mused.
I could see he really looked down on me, even though I was at least half a foot taller than him. Now I can’t complain, because this super brain was my only ticket out of my former home. I told him my story. Though he thought I was an escaped lunatic or something, I convinced him to find a way to get us out.
So we walked a bit and reached at the base of a hyper-galacto-whatsitsname-thingamajig (I think.... I’m just going to call it ‘the rocket’ for now.). Jimmy Neutron (Boy Genius) and I (totally brain-dead compared to him) blasted off on our search for new earths. It was a good thing I had taken time to read up on my National Geographic or I would have lost it in there with Smart-Ass-Neutron.
Anyway, there we were, traveling at twice the speed of light and after about an hour, we located a planet, with the perfect conditions for habitation, according to one of Jimmy’s gadgets. I secretly name our new discovery ‘planet Krypton’ after the place from which Superman hails.
Yes! Finally I can get away from this big-head hogging all the space! I thought as we broke into the atmosphere. (OK maybe I should have been thankful, but this guy was driving me nuts) In two minutes, we were there; thanks to Jimmy’s twice-the-speed-of-light-rocket.
Somehow today seems to be a day of surprises; first with the earth disappearing, then Jimmy Neutron and his rocket and now this. Jimmy is not helping at all. He’s too obsessed with rock samples.
Before me I see exactly what I wanted to get away from: Earth, with all its chaos.
Hold on, let’s rewind back. Earth? This isn’t earth! This is supposed to be Planet Krypton!
“Jimmy what did you do?”
“Nothing,” he replies and off he goes with his rock examiner.
Where’s the big-head when I need him?
After a few minutes, I realize that Jimmy has landed us a few streets away from our neighborhood. I was analyzing my chances of finding Jimmy again and getting some sense out of the situation when he rapped on my shoulder.
“Hey”
Speak of the devil…
“Yeah? What is it?” I ask
“Well, after a bit of research, I’ve found that every 7 blue moons (I later learnt that one blue moon is 96 years) someone’s wish to make the world disappear comes true. And unimaginable force beyond comprehension transports all the things on Earth and its near vicinity to another planet with equal resources for life. Only the ‘wisher’ remains on earth.”
OK, that was a little bit too much for me to understand
“Run that by me again?”
With enthusiasm, Jimmy continues, “you see, when there are two planets to use, although no one realizes it, the depletion of resources is reduced by 50%. That’s why the Earth; or technically earths aren’t destroyed by now.”
“So basically, there are two earths and once in a while, we switch between them?” I give him my simplified version.
“If you put it that way, yes,” says Jimmy, not at all impressed with my analysis, “well, see you around!”
“Um… you too.” I reply though not really meaning it.
Well, I got my life of yelling parents, annoying brother and alarming alarm clock back.
So much for Krypton.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
New Bonds Forged
Friends come, friends go. Some stay a while, make your life better and then leave. Others stay forever, seeing everything: good, bad and ugly. Some have always been there, but they were inconspicuous. Friends come, friends go; but each is one to thank.
I started my ninth year in the Choice School most reluctantly. My class I found was HORRENDOUSLY HORRIBLY HATEFUL. I had not a friend who I was close to. And as they say the grass is greener on the other side, I found my friends' classes the ones I should have fit in perfectly. But they put me in the misfit class. I still think that I'd rather sit at home than spend another year in the same class(thank God we're getting shuffled).
But having common enemies reaps friendship, it is said. For me, and two of my friends this statement proved very true. Our common enemy was everyone who conspired in putting us into that class. The three of us despised everything about it. And that brought us together.
My friends are Shalini and Sanya. And thanks to them, the second half of the year proved to be an awesome time for me. If there's anything I'm going to miss from this year, its their company.
We formed a bond between ourselves that brought us close in our differences. We laughed enough to make drew Carey look bad! We got into trouble too, for a few misdeeds. But we sort of stuck together.
All three of us have friends outside class. Friends who we consider our real friends. Each of us silently thought that the other two were only replacements to friends in class, until we got out. But as the last days of school approached, we found, with lumps in our throats that we had grown on each other. From seeing each other everyday to sneaking out of trouble we had gotten through this horrendously horribly hateful class together. And I'm genuinely going to miss the crazy, perverted, funny times the three of us had.
We signed our school uniform ties today. With phone numbers, names and things that we want to remember form last year. We hugged. We formed a pact. The PPP. We split a three flowered twig among ourselves. We promised to knock off "certain people" when we get a chance. We hugged some more. I picked up shalini because she's so short and Sanya's so tall. We're working on a poem. We are working on our memories so that we don't forget to say hi to each other. We are brushing up our telepathic skills as backup if our memories(as afore mentioned) fail.
we maybe separable, but PPP WILL SECRETLY BLESS AND CURSE AND FOREVER REIGN UPON US AS PsYCHIC SIsTERS.
love you Shalu and Sani always.
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