Is it Me or is it Chemistry?

Chemistry always ruins my day.
Today was my first chemistry exam. you can guess how i did. pretty bad. why do i have such a problem with this subject? why can't i just understand it and move on? it's bothering me. I'm not living up to my expectations of myself. (that sounds weird but its true)
I'm upset.
i want to cry.
i want to run away alone.
it's not even chemistry anymore. i just hate everything. i hate myself and my life and everyone around me. i want to rest but i cant. i want to be lazy but i cant. i want to sit quietly in a corner and think but i cant. and i surely can't cry. i would look like some self obsessed fool.