Saturday, August 25, 2007

Holidays

finally, exams are over. Onam is here. i can sleep late, read books, talk on the phone, surf the net, anything i want. i don't need to study. oh it feels good. it feels refreshing.
yesterday was the last day of school. i wore a sari, the traditional kerala one. i was pretty conscious of the whole outfit, it's not every day you go to school in a sari. but it was fun, all of us dressed up. we went out, me and my freinds. had lunch, laughed, got a little screwed. but yea, there's always some messing up when we go out. i did feel bad about the mean things i had done yesterday, but i did what i had to do, apologised, and hopefully it will be ok. but somehow, i dont feel like thinking about all that.
someone is on my mind. he's always there these days. what a guy he is. so.....hmm....just so himself. i love all of him. and yesterday we spent some time together. that made my day, i think it made my year! things dont seem right without him.
you know, i found some freinds yesterday. they were always tehre of course, but i was really convinced yesterday that they cared.
the kiddo, roselyn, shari, tari, ris
thank you, you guys. you mean alot to me, whether you know it or not. thanks for stickin with me and dealing with me.
i've noticed something, when i write, it's mostly about people. i think i take my close relationships too seriously. or maybe i dont. after all they are my friends, my family, the people i care about. the people i love. people, make or break us. not stuff, or money or power, or fate, or any of that shit.
it's always the people in our lives that make it worth living. it's always they, who you think about at the end of the day, and it is they who you will miss the most when they are gone.

to all the people in my life,
mama
papa
abu
nem
roselyn
shari
jes
ris
tari
amma
ammachi
shobha
and everyone else,

i love you all so very much.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Complacency

I'm bored. i have work to do. i don't want to do it. i need to study, my exams are coming up, but i am feeling so drowsy and i can't even sit up straight and read my books. i want to sleep. I'm hungry. today is going so slow and by the time it's evening i will have felt like this weekend went by too fast.
once school starts time is going to pick up pace and rush by me. though, since it's exam week i wouldn't be too sure about it. don't feel alone, but now i feel a little lonely. no one is at home and my brother is hardly talking to me(he's absorbed in his own world) and my friends are all at church or tuitions or something or the other.
maybe i should just go sleep.
i miss the kiddo, the lanky one, nymalu, NEM, i wonder if they know.