My favourite channel is now CNN. yeah, that's right. I think I'm going insane. my most common activity is studying. my least common activity is swimming(i used to swim at least once a week). I'm beginning to dread parties, and this is the weirdest one. I think it's because after a whole day of studying, and pretending to study and downright not studying, I'm too tired, too fed up to do anything more.
But i guess it's just inertia. because one day i dragged myself to go and swim, and boy was it great. Things are a lot slower these days. life is inching forward, and each minute seems like an empty abyss. I want to drown, lose my breath and slowly disappear. I want to cry forever because some days the pain overwhelms me. More than the pain, it is the excruciating emotion. Emotions i have never felt are taking over me.
Desperation
Hopelessness
Wanting to just quit
Crying for no reason
weightlessness
I don't know. I'm not making sense. Adieu.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Friday, January 05, 2007
What is the point?
What's the point about
1.writing this blog
2. studying half your life for some crappy job
3.getting into iit
4. being the person your parents dreamed about when you can't be yourself
5. being free because freedom is relative
6. having freinds, they all betray you
7. having money when it doesn't buy happiness
8. expression when noone is listening
9. trying to prove your worth
10. knowing your worth and not being able to fulfill it
11. having dreams if they are crushed by circumstances
12. believing in fairy tales
13. thinking that things will always work out, because they never do
14. hoping you won't die just another slob
15. winning an award after you're dead
16. holding your breath in suspense
17. worry
18. loving or hating life, does it matter?
19. falling in love
20. the good ol'' times, they're over anyway
21. keeping freinds because you love them, half of them don't give a shit
22. lying when the truth is going to come out soon enough
23. hoping your wishes come true
24. believing in God, only you can decid your life
25. killing yourself, you're gonna die in a while anyway
in fact, everyone will die someday and life in it's entirety is pointless
1.writing this blog
2. studying half your life for some crappy job
3.getting into iit
4. being the person your parents dreamed about when you can't be yourself
5. being free because freedom is relative
6. having freinds, they all betray you
7. having money when it doesn't buy happiness
8. expression when noone is listening
9. trying to prove your worth
10. knowing your worth and not being able to fulfill it
11. having dreams if they are crushed by circumstances
12. believing in fairy tales
13. thinking that things will always work out, because they never do
14. hoping you won't die just another slob
15. winning an award after you're dead
16. holding your breath in suspense
17. worry
18. loving or hating life, does it matter?
19. falling in love
20. the good ol'' times, they're over anyway
21. keeping freinds because you love them, half of them don't give a shit
22. lying when the truth is going to come out soon enough
23. hoping your wishes come true
24. believing in God, only you can decid your life
25. killing yourself, you're gonna die in a while anyway
in fact, everyone will die someday and life in it's entirety is pointless
Life Sucks
Life sucks to the core. there are exams every week. I'm going crazy studying endlessly, and if I'm not doing that, then I'm feeling guilty I'm not studying.
It's horrible. I wish I had my childhood back. and to top it all off, I barely get to talk to him. Call me a complaining brat, but it sucks. That's it. Period.
It's horrible. I wish I had my childhood back. and to top it all off, I barely get to talk to him. Call me a complaining brat, but it sucks. That's it. Period.
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