Life's Good

By good i mean the ratio of good to bad is greater that 1. hey, i wasn't asking for 100% good. now that's being greedy.
school is mostly good. sports day preparations happening. sports day week=lots of sun+sweat+running+laughs+ice cream+muscle cramps+competition+adrenaline. it's tiring, but fun. soon it'll be over but till then I'm all smiles.
school is going OK. nothing great. but hey, it's better that a board exam class. couldn't ask for more in this stage of my life. soon life will all revolve around two exams namely the boards and the engineering entrance. might as well live it up while i can.
home is good. I'm hardly home these days, but when i am, i like it. my parents are pretty nice at the moment.
him, he's wonderful to me as always. i worry about us less and about him more. i hope he doesn't work himself too hard. but he knows what he's doing. its better if i don't interfere.
i guess when it's good, there's less to describe.

So, What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

I was somewhere between 5 and 10 when i was first asked this question. since then, it has incarnated into various forms. Every time it was posed to me, i had a different answer. from beauty contest winner to pilot to fashion designer...the list was endless. that seems like a long time ago, but my list is still endless. Lawyer, Engineer, Journalist, Architect, Designer? The options are so many that i cannot think. people say it is a boon for our generation to have professions that cater to every one's aptitude and skill. but is it really so? i feel like i have so many options i cannot nail it down to one. each one equally uncertain, yet equally rewarding. what to do, what to do?
i want to be a writer, and editor, a journalist. do i have what it takes? am i good enough? what if I'm not? what if it isn't what i thought it was and i become a failure? yes, it is something i love, but do i have the skill or am i just kidding myself?
i could be a lawyer. I've never thought seriously about the profession, so i don't have a burning desire to be one. but do i have the skills it demands? can i rise in this field if i work hard? will i like it? will i regret it ? am i just acting on impulse from what other people said?
i most probably will end up an engineer. i know i can do reasonably well. but i do not feel a rush when i solve a sum, or conduct an experiment. will i be just another slob, just another in the multitude of intelligentsia applying for engineering? will i waste those four years wishing i did something else?
oh the uncertainties of life....
my time is running out. i must decide, for now is the time. i must search inside me and find out my strengths and which profession it will be recognised. will i make the right choice?

Quite the Ordinary

These days have been pretty uneventful. there have been exams, i have been studying(not so well, i might add). i hate studying. i don't see the point of it all, but i do it anyway because everyone else is doing it. because my parents say it is important. because i cannot have a life, they say, without academic excellence. and so i open the dreary book and study, but never do i learn. i have noticed that learning really doesn't happen as it is intended to in school. i doubt i remeber any of the history i learnt in 10th, besides the basics that is. i can't remeber the rainfall required for the growth of wheat. i can't even understand the use of these things in physics called vectors. i would love to learn these things, understand them if they were really needed in life. i am all ready for expanding my knowledge. but studying is just mugging. memorising. learning things by heart. who wants to do that? not me. i wish i could find an answer to my problem. i do enjoy my classes now and then, but most often the monotony of the teachers voice steals the topic of any interest. i know i must not complain without a solution to help it get better but right now i want to be a little tantrum-throwing child and complain.

other things have been happening. life has been going on. basketball still up and running. tomorrow probably the last match of this year, so i must play my best. i want to win. quite vain i know, but winning feels good. it makes you feel like you didnt bust your ass for nothing. 2nd place doesn't feel the same way. i would know, our team is perpetually second place. this time, i want to feel the rush you get when the whistle blows and you can scream and hug your team mates.

there's nothing much with him. he is the same. unchanged love, unchanged eyes bearing his feelings. i know the change is yet to come. but i shall forget it now. i want to be blind to everything but him and his love. for now.