Quite the Ordinary

These days have been pretty uneventful. there have been exams, i have been studying(not so well, i might add). i hate studying. i don't see the point of it all, but i do it anyway because everyone else is doing it. because my parents say it is important. because i cannot have a life, they say, without academic excellence. and so i open the dreary book and study, but never do i learn. i have noticed that learning really doesn't happen as it is intended to in school. i doubt i remeber any of the history i learnt in 10th, besides the basics that is. i can't remeber the rainfall required for the growth of wheat. i can't even understand the use of these things in physics called vectors. i would love to learn these things, understand them if they were really needed in life. i am all ready for expanding my knowledge. but studying is just mugging. memorising. learning things by heart. who wants to do that? not me. i wish i could find an answer to my problem. i do enjoy my classes now and then, but most often the monotony of the teachers voice steals the topic of any interest. i know i must not complain without a solution to help it get better but right now i want to be a little tantrum-throwing child and complain.

other things have been happening. life has been going on. basketball still up and running. tomorrow probably the last match of this year, so i must play my best. i want to win. quite vain i know, but winning feels good. it makes you feel like you didnt bust your ass for nothing. 2nd place doesn't feel the same way. i would know, our team is perpetually second place. this time, i want to feel the rush you get when the whistle blows and you can scream and hug your team mates.

there's nothing much with him. he is the same. unchanged love, unchanged eyes bearing his feelings. i know the change is yet to come. but i shall forget it now. i want to be blind to everything but him and his love. for now.