Indispensible

There are precisely 6 people in this world i can trust my life with. Out of that is my mom, dad and brother. Family, always. But the other three, they are the ones that i never want to take for granted. Unlike my family, they could walk out of my life at any given time. And then i would be broken.
When i realised i have only three real true friends, i was shattered. Because when i realised it, i was fighting with one, i was breaking up with another and i was ignoring the third. So i realised i was a complete and utter bitch. And i cried and i cried and i apologised and i cried some more.

Roselyn:
God, i love you. You, with your squeaky voice and your hand on my waist and your laughs and just your everything. I know that sounds so weird coming from me. You're my confidante, girl. And despite all your other friends that hurt me, despite all the little fights, i still want to talk to to you about the lamest stuff. And i really hope college isn't going to change this. I really hope I'd still be the person finishing your sentences.

Shari:
Somewhere in the middle of nowhere we banged our heads together and now you're here and i don't know sometimes what i would do without you. Reading each others' poems out loud and reading each others' lives out loud too. I don't want to lose this friendship because more often than not, it keeps me from breaking down into nothing. So Shari, i love you.

NEM :
Well you're another deal altogether. You're the blood in my body, the twinkle in my eye, the spring in my step. You're the reason i changed. You're the person who's shown me the greatest love and acceptance. You......I'm going to miss you. But i know that as a friend you're here. I don't know how much that will change things between us, but even as friends, for now i can trust you just like i trust the other five, like my family, like my best friends. I know you know i love you.

Mamma, Papa, Abu:
What can i say. You guys are my home. You guys are the ones i fight with the most and the ones i owe my entire life to. You are the ones i know will always be waiting for me no matter who i am, where i go. for your unconditional love and constant guidance. I know our arms will always protect each other. That is the bond of family. I love you guys so so much.

Change

Lately, my life has been quite a bit of upheaval. there has been a lot of change i have to deal with. They say change is always good and one must be resilient in the face of change. I think of these small changes in my life and i see them causing tornadoes in me.

Have you seen the great trees in the forest? The ones that tower above us to kiss the sugary clouds. To me, a tree is the most resilient of creatures. For her, change is infinitesimal. It doesn't matter because whether there is rain or sunshine, whether it is autumn or spring, this magnificiant being lives through it all. A year in our life is simply another tiny ring in her trunk. And when we think we are old by the time we are 40, she is still in her fresh green youth at that age. The tree watches over the changes happening, hardly changing herself.

Then he comes. The lumberjack. His saw cuts her and her sap bleeds down her trunk. But she is silent. she cannot speak, she cannot move and she lets this change topple her over to the ground. She falls like a giant with a thunderous echo and the lumberjack smiles. His work is done.

But what he doesn't know is that in years to come (but a second in the tree's life), she will regenerate her being. She will grow once again, building on her roots, forgiving the one who brought her down. Once again, she will grow above us and watch.

I want to be her, the tree. I want to break away from these changes and look above them. I want to bounce back into life with energy and not with a sense of defeat. I want to be her.

Love is like..

I was thinking one day about love and all of it that i have inside me and i found an analogy which, at the moment seems fitting.
Love is like Quicksand.

There i was, minding my own business, watching the skies and as unexpectedly as ever, i fell straight into love; just like a wanderer falls into a puddle of quicksand. If you resist it, it pulls you down even more, so i didn't fight. i just let it be, i let this love come into me. Slowly, yet surely i was up to my neck in love. Only my head was sticking out of the puddle. After some more time my mouth went down, my nose went down and that's when i realised it was taking over me. It was a part of me now, there was nothing i could do to break free. This love was engulfing me with its power. I could not breathe, i could not see, i could not think. And gently, ever so gently, it took the life out of me.
Here i am now, left for dead. Because love, like quicksand, shows no mercy. At the end of it all, you simply crumble into dust.

In retrospect, i wouldn't regret falling into quicksand. There's a hefty price to pay for the greatest, most exhilarating moments in your life, but somehow it all seems worth it.