The exams are here. The boards that everyone has been talking to me about this whole year has finally arrived, and i am overwhelmed by it. I am not doing anything as i planned to.
For one, i am sick of studying this whole year and cannot even think of studying anymore. and this i feel when it most counts.
the boards are scary. But they are not as bad as people make it to be. They are easier than any exam I've don't this year(so far) and i wonder why there was so much pressure on me in the first place. Now that the time has come to put in your very best, to focus, to get close to a 100% in at least one subject, I AM BEING A LAZY BUM.
what am i supposed to do today? i have 4 days for my English exam. the past 3 days, i learnt 4 chapters in science out of the 17 we have and 1 question paper in french. a feeble attempt. in the next 4 days, i plan to study English, bit by boring bit. in between all this studying, there is the Internet, there is the eating, the TV, the walking around aimlessly, there is all of this messing up, DURING THE MOST IMPORTANT MONTH OF MY TENTH.
have i gone crazy? have i dropped myself to a level where i am utterly not bothered with life? no. i care as much as i ever did to do well for these exams. but i am not doing my BEST. not that all my friends are......
all this studying in the end is useless. and that makes it even harder to commit to this.
oh well, i am an Indian student, and for us this is the only life. might as well put up a fake smile and get through it.
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