An Eerie Sense of Calm

Life has taken a new turn this week. The crutch i used for all the horrid things that happened to me, namely that guy i love, i have allowed to fall away.i thought i needed him so, that i couldn't breathe without him. but now that we're not in a "relationship" it's not that bad. still friends, still talking, still laughing our heads off like before.
in one sense, i still have him as my crutch, as my pillar of strength because I'm not over him as of now. i still love him with all my heart, but i know time heals these things. we need to move on someday. the sooner i get it done, the better. I'm looking at this whole breakup as a chore i just have to do no matter what. I'm trying to be completely emotionless and practical. it's working to an extent as long as i don't think about it too deeply.
it's really pissing off that i have to do this, that the one relationship i had that made me completely, flawlessly happy has to end. life is crushing in its punishments. but what am i gonna do? cry, crib, or carry on. I'd say let's just dry out those tears and f*cking move on. I'm sick of all this sadness.
love hurts.

but after this, my mind has acquired some sort of peace. this is over. i can't think of what ifs and imagine the future. it's over for good. no turning back. nothing i can do. giving up isn't easy here, but it makes my brain think about bullsh*it alot less.

I'm probably not making any sense today...